What’s the secret? Is it the mediterranean diet? The relaxed Greek culture? Whatever it is, the world is hanging on to find out.
The island of Ikaria is home to more centenarians that almost anywhere else on Earth. Time magazine placed it in the top five locations with the most centenarians, along with Sardinia, Italy, and Okinawa, Japan.
According to population statistics, 1 in 3 Ikarians to live into their 90s, often free of dementia and chronic disease. “Chronic diseases are a rarity in Ikaria. People living in this region have 20% less cancer, half the rate of cardiovascular disease and almost no dementia,” Blue Zones website claims.
Ikaria. Phot: Shutterstock
Many of the locals attribute it to a commanding sense of community involvement, keeping them active, while also maintaining a relaxed culture. Late bedtimes offset by daily naps allow the elderly to preserve their energy while making sure they are keeping their bodies active.
Accompanied by this is the famous Mediterranean diet — consisting of lots of fruits, vegetables, beans, whole grains, potatoes and olive oil. In addition to their Mediterranean diet, Ikarians eat a lot of wild greens and drink herbal tea, which is full of nutrients.
But surely a good diet and lots of sleep isn’t the only reason this islands inhabitants enjoy a high quality of life.
Centenarian Ionna Proiou continues to weave bags and clothes to sell in her shop (Photo: Marissa Tejada)
“Do not want more than what you really need. If you envy others, that can only give you stress,” 105-year-old Ioanna Proiou tells the BBC.
“Do something in your life that stirs your passion.
“When my husband died decades ago, I continued doing what I love. Later, someone else proposed to me, but I said ‘no’. I am married to my loom.”
Whether it’s a secret trick or simply a maintenance of routine, the Ikarians continue to live prosperously on their Aegean Island.
One amazing aspect in the longevity of a small business is the way it develops, over time, into an important part in the local community; for locals, it feels as though this small business has always been there to cater for their everyday needs. And it should be emphasised that this strong sense of belonging is mutually felt because the business owner also develops lifelong relationships with people and place too.
For Pauline Bertuzzi, Earlwood is simply her home, as she was born, grew up, married and set up her family home and business there… so you cannot get more local than Pauline!!! And Waratah Florists is now the longest-running Greek business in the Greek ‘village’, Earlwood!!!
Pauline’s parents, Panagiotis and Evdokia, moved to Earlwood and opened the Earlwood Fish Market in 1940 and they operated it for the next thirty years! So Pauline has experienced small business, whether with her parents and siblings or with her late husband, Paul, and their family, in Earlwood for over for eighty years! That is a lot of local history!
It was on the day of the opening of the Sydney Opera House that Pauline’s late husband, Paul, set up his florist business, which was a trailer in Sydney city; it was situated under the Union Carbide Building, on Liverpool Street, opposite Hyde Park. Pauline recounts these humble beginnings, ‘Every morning, he would go to the Haymarket markets to pick up the flowers he would sell that day. His day would at finish at 5.30… As he had a hawker’s license, he would go around, every Friday evening, to all the pubs in the area and sell his leftover flowers.’
With business continually growing, the Bertuzzi family began looking for premises- to establish a base- and as it would turn out- it was on Homer Street, Earlwood. Over the next few decades, Paul would manage three florist trailers in Sydney city, as he would pick up the flowers from the markets and drop them off at Pauline (in Earlwood) where they were prepared and then delivered to the city trailers.
Photo: Vasilis Vasilas
Being in the city, Paul got all sorts of exposure; he gained the front window display at the Carlton Rex Hotel and promoted Waratah Florists’ flower arrangements there, and this subsequently generated a lot of interest! Over the years, Waratah Florists gained several big contracts for the flower arrangements at the balls in the Sheridan Wentworth Hotel, the Admiral Cup Dinners and the Jockey Club. Once their good reputation grew from strength to strength, so did the offers as they did the flower arrangements for the Queen and Lady Diana’s respective Sydney visits.
While Waratah Florists’ flower arrangements decorated so many iconic city stores and institutions, it should be emphasised that the engine room to this success was the shop in Earlwood, where Pauline’s sister, Mary, and Elsie Whitney worked alongside her in those early days. Pauline recounts the busy daily routine, As city ‘stores’ only sold cut flowers, Paul would bring us all the flowers (from the markets) that needed arrangement; once we finished, my sister, Mary, would have to do (as many as) three drop offs in the city every day! Do not ask me how we managed all this! I suppose we were much younger back then and we had the energy to keep up with all the demand!’
Paul Bertuzzi was undoubtedly a larger-than-life character and brought so much life to the business and the Greek community- he just had a zest for life! And Pauline pays tribute to her late husband, ‘Paul was also a social butterfly. He may have loved his flowers but his second love was music. For many years, he was the drummer in the Greek band, Ta Nea Asteria. Looking back, I do not know how he managed working nights as a drummer at social functions and then going to the markets to buy our flowers in the early morning. Did he ever sleep?
‘He was always on the go. He was proud of his Greek heritage and he was always generous in various causes- he did not have deep pockets (laughs)! Whenever there was a fundraiser, he was there; one of the most memorable events was a charity soccer match- which included celebrities such as Harry Michael, Andrew Paschalides, George Donikian and Les Murray- and he was asked to be goalkeeper.
‘One time, television personality, Harry Michaels asked me what life was like with Paul and I did not know how to answer the question. I now know, with his absence, how boring life is.’
Having grown up in Earlwood, I personally cannot remember it without the Bertuzzi family and Waratah Florists. These days, Pauline’s daughter, Anne, runs the business and Pauline continues to be there every day.
And having been part of Earlwood’s community all their lives, you can sense that Pauline and Anne’s warm connection with her customers when they walk into their shop. Such warmth and care cannot be expressed without a lifetime, in the case of Pauline and now Anne, of service to the local community.
Construction figure George Alex told his mates he liked the sound of living in an extravagant apartment overlooking the waves breaking off the Surfers Paradise beach strip, according to documents tendered in court.
So much so that he allegedly set to work purchasing a $1.8 million three-bedroom apartment in the Gold Coast‘s Allunga building, The Daily Telegraph reports.
But there were two problems Alex needed to overcome before he could finalise the purchase.
The first was that the property couldn’t be in his name because the Australian Taxation Office bankrupted him in 2011, meaning any asset he owned would be seized by his trustee to repay his debts.
The second was how he could use a portion of the $17 million, which police allege he stole as the head of a sophisticated tax fraud syndicate, to pay for the property without the authorities noticing.
What followed was a complex maze of money transfers between people, companies and foreign countries that Alex allegedly used in an attempt to throw investigators off the scent and fulfil his dream of a beachside pad and a Queensland tan.
George Alex allegedly ran a multimillion-dollar money laundering operation. Picture: John Grainger
All up seven people and eight companies across two continents were used in an attempt to disguise the 49-year-old’s trail of allegedly stolen cash.
According to the court documents, Alex noticed the three-bedroom Hanlan St property was for sale for about $1.8 million on May 17, 2019. Alex made a series of phone calls to Gordon McAndrew, a 58-year-old former Westpac employee who has been charged with conspiracy and allegedly ordered him to purchase the property.
According to the documents, police allege McAndrew established a company to buy the property, AGIM Holdings, of which he was the director. This would allegedly “obscure” Alex as the true owner.
On April 5, 2019, $205,000 was transferred through three companies allegedly linked to Alex’s minions — Scottish Pacific, GHR Consolidated and D & B Plant Hire.
On April 12, the money was then paid as a deposit for the property to the selling agent, Harcourt Coastal.
The next step was sourcing a loan for the rest of the payment. On April 16, McAndrew allegedly used his banking know-how to arrange a loan through a mortgage broker.
The loan was secured by May 15, and McAndrew contacted the real estate agent to seal the deal, but only on the condition of a one day settlement, court documents said.
A tennis court at the Hanlan St, Gold Coast property.
On May 15, Rostron transferred just over $1.3 million from the Singapore based company to the Australian based company, Adelphi Finance, the sole director of which was Kirschberg, court documents said.
Two days later, the cash shuffle was on again with $715,000 moved between four companies allegedly associated with Alex’s crew, with the money finally landing in the Adelphi finance account.
Kirschberg then attended the ANZ Bank at Hornsby and arranged for a bank cheque for just over $1.7 million to be drawn at ANZ Surfers Paradise from the Adelphi Finance Account, court documents said.
Kirschberg then allegedly sent an SMS to Alex: “I spent all our money :).”
Property records for the Hanlan St apartment show very little with the owner’s name, the sale price and the sale date not disclosed.
Authorities seized the property last month using laws allowing them to freeze assets suspected of being the proceeds of crime following an application to the Queensland Supreme Court.
Days later, Alex and 11 other people were charged over the alleged tax fraud scheme.
August 15 marks 75 years since World War II ended in the Pacific with Japan’s surrender to a group of countries that included Australia. Yet as society gets further from these events, both culturally and through time, milestone anniversaries like this can slip by without notice.
On this day, while we remember all Greeks who fought beside Australians in WWII, we specifically look at those who defended the Kokoda track. A direct pathway for the Japanese to enter Australia.
316 Greek Australians served in the New Guinea Campaign including 26 on Kokoda Track. Australian war author Steve Kyritsis writes about the brave actions of Australians who fought in this disastrous campaign.
“On Kokoda – New Guinea campaign, there were 7 lots of two brothers of Greek origin, 2 lots of 3 brothers and 1 lot of four brothers,” Kyritsis writes in his book ‘Greek-Australians in the Australian forces: World War I & World War II‘.
Photo: Steve Kyritsis
“Great Stories such as of John Manolitsas picture in the most Iconic photo of the Kokoda Track, Con Vafiopoulos the medic who did a amputation on Australian soldier on a rock, and the soldier survived, the rock has been named “Cons Rock” and is still visible on the Kokoda Track.”
The organisation of Australian troops led to hundreds of casualties, many of which could have been prevented. Coming up against a fierce Japanese infantry unit, who expertly made there way around the uneven terrain, the Australians were ill-equipped, poorly supplied and inadequately trained for jungle warfare. Left heavily outnumbered, Australians suffered mass casualties.
The Japanese got as far as Ioribaiwa, about 40 Kilometres from Port Moresby. Yet, the Japanese were faced against a returning battalion from Europe who pushed the Japanese up the Track.
More Australians died in Papua New Guinea than in any other campaign of the war, but Australia managed to defend the sovereign military point and eliminate enough Japanese soldiers to hold their position.
“Angeo Barboutis died fighing in a swamp against the Japanese. The three Manusu (Manousos) brothers fighting side by side on Kokoda, Pericles and Guy enlisted on the same day and killed in action at Eora creek in October 1942, within couple days of each other,” Kyritsis writes.
Australian casualties on the Kokoda Track: 625 killed, 1055 wounded. Japanese casualties on the Kokoda Track: 12,000 killed 1,880 wounded.
Sirens Nightclub owner Ross Glynatsis faced Gosford Local Court on Friday after already pleading guilty to eight weapons and drug offences following a police raid of his Erina unit in October last year.
An agreed set of police facts, tendered in court, states Glynatsis had no previous criminal history but had become the victim of an extortion attempt by a Bandidos member in 2018.
“The offence involved serious, multiple, ongoing demands and threats over a period of a little more than a month,” the facts read.
“It included threats to involve members of the Bandidos and on at least one occasion other members of the Bandidos were present as part of the demands.”
The Central Coast Express Advocate reports that Glynatsis first hired a Bandido bikie to settle a debt, only to become the target of extortion and threats, which led to him arming himself with a loaded pistol and other weapons.
Magistrate Barnett said Glynatsis’ problems started when he decided to buy the cafe under his nightclub.
On July 15, 2019, following a plea of guilty, the bikie was sentenced in Gosford District Court to 22 months imprisonment with a non-parole period of 14 months.
With time served since his arrest his non-parole period was to expire a week earlier on July 8, 2019.
The agreed facts state in August 2019 Glynatsis started receiving threats, which he understood to be related to him having reported the bikie’s extortion to police.
Glynatsis’ lawyer, Manni Conditsis, said the elderly man was so scared he even went to police and asked them for a gun for his protection.
“They laughed and told him he couldn’t have a gun,” Mr Conditsis told the court.
After mixed dealings with a bikie gang, including forced regular payments of $10,000, Glynatsis went to police, leading to the bikie’s imprisonment.
The court heard police applied and were granted a warrant to search Glynatsis’ three bedroom unit at Erina.
At 9.35am on October 17, 2019, Strike Force Raptor officers attended his unit where they located an Ema-Werke EP652.22 calibre pistol with a magazine fitted containing six rounds in his bedside drawer.
They also seized a box of 0.22 calibre Winchester hollow point rounds, a clear freezer bag containing .22 calibre rounds and a number of loose .22 rounds. Police then searched the whole property and found a box of Scorpio 12 gauge shot gun rounds in his bedroom closet.
Officers also found 4.9g of cannabis leaf in a kitchen cupboard, 1g of cannabis leaf loose in a bowl on the kitchen bench and a jar containing 24.2g of cocaine. In another kitchen cupboard police found a resealable bag containing 2.23g of cocaine and 14 other resealable bags with the total quantity of cocaine being 33.93g.
Glynatsis. (AAP IMAGE / Troy Snook)
His solicitor, Mr Conditsis, told the court Glynatsis only supplied his friends.
“All of them were of the female variety,” Mr Conditsis said of the people Glynatsis supplied cocaine.
Mr Barnett convicted Glynatsis of all eight offences and sentenced him to a 10-month intensive corrections order for possessing the gun.
He also fined him a total of $3,200 for possessing ammunition and the drugs, put him on a community corrections order for two years for supplying cocaine and having prohibited weapons being the flick knife, baton and taser.
As part of his sentence Glynatsis will also have to perform 250 hours of community service and abstain from illegal drugs.
In August 1940, World War II was about to turn one year old. Greece, which was ruled dictatorially by Ioannis Metaxas, may have taken a neutral stance, but it was clear that it was on the side of England. Fascist Italy, an ally of Nazi Germany, with its powerful fleet was claiming supremacy in the Mediterranean from Great Britain.
The order to torpedo the “Elli”, a light cruise ship, was given by the Italian commander of the Dodecanese, Cesare Maria de Vecchi, a leading member of the Fascist Party of Italy.
The Italian submarine “Delfino” commanded by Lieutenant Giuseppe Aicardi started from the naval base in Partheni of Leros on the night of August 14 , with a mission to hit enemy ships in Tinos, Syros and then blockade of Diorga .
In the morning hours of August 15, the Italian submarine was found outside the port of Tinos diving, in order to torpedo the passenger ships “Elsi” and “Esperos”, which carried pilgrims. From the periscope, Icardi saw a warship arrive at the port and did not let the opportunity go to waste. It was the cruiser “Elli”, which sailed to Tinos for the festive events of Megalohari.
Photo: Greek Reporter
At 8.25 a.m, shortly before the procession of the icon of the Virgin Mary and while there was a lot of people on the beach, the Delfino hit the Greek warship with three torpedoes.
Only one torpedo hit a target, but it hit the Greek ship in the engine room and oil tanks. An hour later, the Elli sank, despite the efforts of the crew to keep it alive.
The Delfino attack killed a non-commissioned officer and eight Elli sailors, while the wounded amounted to 24. A woman, who was on the beach, died of a heart attack after the explosion of the second torpedo on the quay.
After the execution of its mission, the Delfino left without revealing its identity. After a few hours it sailed to Syros, but was left immediately idle, as there was no ship in the port of the island.
The Delfino hurried back to Leros by order of the Italian authorities, canceling its mission in Corinth.
The operation does not seem to have been aware of the political authorities in Rome (except perhaps Mussolini). The Minister of Foreign Affairs, Galeazzo Ciano, wrote in his memoirs that the sinking of the Greek ship is due to the audacity of De Vecchi.
The investigation carried out by Navy divers showed that the torpedoes were Italian and therefore the attack was carried out by an Italian submarine. The Metaxa government kept the result of the investigation completely secret, so as not to provoke Italy and disrupt the neutrality of Greece. Finally, it was made public on October 30, 1940, two days after the Italian attack on Greece.
In 1950, as part of the war reparations, Italy granted Greece the light cruiser “Eugenio Di Savoia”, which was renamed “Elli” in June, 1951, and had a raised Greek flag.
A gut-wrenching visit to the morgue has given a Greek family some comfort after their 19-year-old son and brother died in a tragic car crash last week.
Michael was one of three 19-year-olds travelling in a Nissan 200SX along the busy road in Hurstville at 2:15 a.m. The car then struck a power pole, ripping it from the ground and bringing down powerlines.
The Daily Telegraph reports that Bianca Barsi, 21, said her mother Nicki, father Michael and younger brother Dominic have been leaning on family since the heartbreaking incident last weekend.
The 19-year-old car lover was only a four minute drive from home.
“The police came to our door that morning and said: ‘Sorry for your loss, your son has died in a car accident’,” Michael’s sister Ms Barsi said.
“I still feel like he’s just going to walk through the door now.”
Barsi family: Nicki, Michael, Bianca and Dominic with Michael, who was killed in a car accident on King Georges rd Hurstville. Photo: Daily Telegraph
A former student of Marist Catholic College, Penshurst, Michael enjoyed spending time with his mates and had a strong passion for cars.
“He did that every Friday and Saturday night. We knew all the boys. We’ve known some since he was in Year 7. They’re family at the end of the day,” she said.
Ms Barsi told friends on social media he “was a good boy”.
“He was a good boy who didn’t take risks, was always very careful but loved fast cars,” she said.
“This is the first time I have lost someone close to me. It’s harder on my little brother Dominic, he’s only 14.”
The crashed car the day after the crash on King Georges Road, Hurstville. Picture: Tim Hunter/Daily Telegraph
Ms Barsi said Michael was “inseparable” from his father and colleague. He had planned to continue the Barsi & Sons family carpentry business.
“My dad’s taking it really bad,” she said.
“They worked together everyday for the past two-three years. They would build houses and fix cars.”
Ms Barsi said her family wanted the funeral to be a “celebration” but COVID restrictions were making it difficult to plan.
“My brother is never going to be a groom, so for Greeks, we see this as celebrating a wedding,” Dominic said.
“He saw his friends as family. We want to dedicate this to his friends also. We haven’t set a date yet. We don’t know what we’ll do about numbers.”
Micahel Barsi as a little boy.
But a confronting visit to the morgue gave Ms Barsi some closure.
“My brother had a smile on his face. That gives me comfort,” she said.
Ms Barsi said the 18-year-old back-seat passenger had been her brother’s best friend since primary school.
“He used to come over everyday. Our families are really close. He’s taking it really hard,” she said.
“They were all friends. They picked what they wanted to do. We’re not angry.”
Ms Barsi said a GoFundMe account has been created to raise money for young crash victims’ families. She said they might organise a car show to raise money down the track.
“We have a big Greek family. Some people don’t have that help. We want to do something positive and something Michael would have liked,” she said.
At the time, police said speed was being investigated as a cause of the crash. Henry Piho, who lived near the crash site, gave CPR to Michael.
“There have been three crashes on this road in the past year. This is sadly the first fatal. Every day since has been sad. I think about it before I go to sleep,” Mr Piho said.
The father-of-four said Michael’s father visited him earlier this week.
“He asked me where his son took his last breath,” he said. “We had a coffee together and I prayed for him.”
A NSW Police spokeswoman said no charges had been laid.
The spokeswoman said the driver of a Volkswagen Golf at the scene was breath tested but the results came back negative. She said police were still planning on interviewing the driver of the car Michael was a passenger in.
New concerns by Greek health authorities were made on Thursday after the National Organisation of Public Health (EODY) announced five fatalities related to the coronavirus in the past 24 hours and 204 new infections.
In a similar situation to Australia, two of the five deaths were residents of a retirement home near Thessaloniki, being the source of dozens of COVID-19 patients.
A Thessaloniki prosecutor has ordered an investigation into the retirement home in Asvestochori, a small town on the outskirts of Thessaloniki, where 33 residents and three staff members have tested positive for Covid-19.
A municipal worker wearing a protective suit disinfects Syntagma square, after the Greek government imposed a nationwide lockdown to contain the spread of the coronavirus disease (COVID-19), in Athens, Greece, March 23, 2020. REUTERS/Alkis Konstantinidis
Chief epidemiologist Sotiris Tsiodras says the virus is believed to have been spread by a staff member who caught it from a relative who had recently attended a concert. The probe into the exact circumstances of the transmission was ordered by the chief of the northern city’s court of first instance, Stefanos Zarkantzias.
The five deaths increased the nationwide death toll to 221, over hundred less than Australia who have had 375 people die as a result of the virus. It is important to note that Australia has over double the population of Greece.
Greece also recorded 204 new infections, with only of those 12 involving foreign tourists tested at the country’s borders. The vast majority of infections are through community transmission, prompting health experts to appeal to citizens to be more diligent in their use of face masks and social distancing.
“The situation in our country has the dynamic of a second wave of the pandemic,” the vice president of EODY, Giorgos Panagiotakopoulos told Kathimerini.
He said it was difficult to draw parallels between the current phase of the pandemic and its initial phase, observing that more testing is revealing more infections. He added that despite the sharp increase in cases, the pandemic “has not yet spiralled out of control.”
On August 15th, Greek Orthodox Christians across the world celebrate the Assumption of the Virgin Mary.
Commonly referred to as ‘Panagia’ and ‘Dekapentavgoustos’, meaning ‘August 15th’, Greeks commemorate the death of the Virgin Mary and her ascension into heaven, to be seated at the right hand of the father. The feast day is second only to Easter (Pascha).
On this day, the life of the Panagia is revered and honoured. As a result of this, her feast day is held in great esteem. To celebrate, Greeks all over the world celebrate with cultural activities and festivals.
Who is the Panagia?
Panagia (also spelled Panayia and Panaghia) is a title given to the Virgin Mary, who was Jesus’s mother. In Greek, Panagia actually means “all holy”. This is a title of respect, reserved for the woman who gave birth to Christ.
The Virgin Mary is also referred to as the Theotokos, which means the “Mother of God”. In Greece, people often name places like churches, villages, and even beaches after the Virgin Mary and when they do, they often use the title of Panagia.
How is This Celebrated?
No matter where you are in Greece, you will find people celebrating the Panagia on August 15th. There are special church services held throughout the country, especially in churches that are named after the Panagia.
In Australia, Greek Orthodox Christians attend special church services to celebrate the feast day, with it being very common for people to stay for a feast and dancing.
To wish someone a happy name day on this holiday, you should say, “Kalo Dekapendavgousto!”
Standout celebrations in Greece take place is churches like Panayia Evangelistria on Tinos, the Monastery of Panayia Soumela on Mt. Vermio, and Panayia Ekatontaliliani on Paros Greek island.
Some of the most popular dekapentavgoustos celebrations in Greece are held at the following churches:
Agiasotissa of Agiasos on the island of Lesbos
Church of the Assumption in Olympos on the island of Karpathos
Monastery of Our Lady Spiliani in Nisyros
Monastery of the Apocalypse in Patmos
Monastery of Panagia tou Harou in Lipsi
Assumption of the Virgin Mary in Thassos
Assumption of the Virgin Mary in Kaso
Monastery of the Virgin of Fidos in Markopoulo on the island of Kefalonia
Chapel of the Virgin Mary in Kato Koufonisia
Our Lady the Revealed and Our Lady of the Sea in Andros
“There’s no way out. There’s no way to fix it. It’s just horrific to go through the labour process and… it’s for nothing really. It’s for nothing and it’s just going to cause you more pain,” begins 33-year-old Rea Liapis, with tears in her eyes.
She’s referring to how at 25 weeks pregnant she went into an early labour with the ominous words of her obstetrician ringing in her ears: “It’s likely your child will not survive this.”
She was right.
On March 3, 2012, Rea, who was 26 years old at the time, gave birth to a stillborn baby girl named Mia. The labour, she says, was ‘traumatic’ and something she and her husband Pat ‘haven’t been able to get over completely.’
“When Mia was born, she weighed only 600 grams. My doctor wrapped her up, put her on me and we held her… They were initially going to leave her in our room, but I was just so exhausted by the end of it, so they took her away,” Rea tells The Greek Herald exclusively.
“But when they brought her back the next morning, nicely wrapped and dressed in her little outfit, that was even more traumatic because she was so cold as they had her in the morgue overnight. So that in itself was a bit difficult.”
Rea’s obstetrician took photos of her baby daughter, Mia, after the birth. Photo supplied.
“Guilt comes from every angle”:
Heartbreaking stories such as Rea’s are sadly not uncommon in Australia. According to the Stillbirth Foundation Australia, a stillbirth, defined as the loss of a foetus from 20 weeks into the pregnancy, occurs six times a day in Australia. In fact, one in 135 births will be stillborn and the cause of many of these deaths will never be known.
Rea and her family belong to this category. Having never done a full autopsy on Mia, the cause of her death remains a mystery. Something which Rea says made her question everything she did during her pregnancy.
“The guilt is a really funny thing because it comes from every angle. It’s ‘did I do something wrong?’ or ‘what if I had been on bed rest?’,” Rea says sadly.
“I had bleeding from 13 weeks and it was nothing major, but the guilt was there as well because I thought, ‘if I had stayed in the hospital from the beginning, would anything have been different?’”
Add to this the internal conflict Rea and her husband felt when they discovered they were pregnant with their second daughter, Zara, within three months of the stillbirth. They later had a son, Sebastian, as well.
Rea and her husband Pat. Photo supplied.
“It was extremely difficult to decide to go through it again because we had no answers. We were so scared. However, we actually became pregnant quite quickly a second time with Zara and my doctor was looking after me a lot more, checking in on me a lot and that created its own guilt,” Rea explains.
“Once Zara came along, and I’m so happy because I have this gorgeous, beautiful little girl, but when I think about Mia I do get upset because it’s not something that ever disappears.
“And if I think, ‘oh I wish Mia was here,’ the guilt comes back where it’s like, ‘yes but if you had her here, you wouldn’t have Zara.’ So then you feel guilty for missing her because had everything gone perfectly fine, I wouldn’t have Zara. So yeah, mum guilt is a funny thing.”
“Making it disappear doesn’t help”:
What’s not funny is the fact that stillbirth is still largely misunderstood and a taboo topic in today’s society.
In fact, Rea recognises that discussions around the issue have improved from the past where, according to a conversation she had with her grandfather, “no one spoke about it.”
“He said to me, ‘one day someone was pregnant and one day they weren’t. That was it. You just sort of buried the body and moved on. There were no names, nothing.’ So I think we’ve come a long way,” Rea says.
However, she adds that more still needs to be done because at the end of the day, acknowledging her stillbirth, and having others do the same, was the first step in her healing process.
Rea was only 26-years-old when she gave birth to her stillborn daughter. Photo supplied.
“We had a proper burial and I think that helped me heal because it was more about understanding that she is my daughter and I didn’t want anyone to just fob it off as a miscarriage, which I think a lot of people do,” Rea explains.
“We’ve got some beautiful photos as well… and seeing them, you’re like ‘wow that’s a baby, they’re baby toes.’ So making her real and making people understand that it wasn’t just nothing was really instrumental in helping me feel better about the whole situation.”
And of course, having the wonderful support of her close family and friends also played an important role in mending her broken heart.
“If you’re going through this, it’s just important to have people around you and to understand that there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with your child and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling like they are your child because they are. Making it disappear doesn’t help,” Rea says.
Wise words from a woman who has clearly experienced her fair share of trauma which many of us couldn’t even begin to comprehend.
