An Australian woman from a Greek Cypriot background has spoken out about the emotional impact of changing her surname after marriage, as part of an upcoming episode of Insight on SBS exploring the cultural significance of names.
Demetra Proestos-Shepherd, who grew up in a proud Greek Cypriot household, said she was unprepared for the reaction she experienced when she first saw her married name on her driver’s licence.
“I felt like I completely erased my culture and my identity in that moment, and I didn’t recognise what I was reading or seeing on the card,” she said.
After taking the surname of her Anglo-Australian husband, Ben Shepherd, Demetra said the change left her feeling disconnected from her heritage.
“If I was to walk down the street and someone said, Mrs Shepherd, I’d be like, I’m just another white person. Now I don’t have my point of difference,” she said.
The experience prompted her to rethink the decision, ultimately choosing to double-barrel her surname in order to reconnect with her cultural roots.
“I looked at Ben and I said, ‘I’m changing it’,” she explained, adding her original family name back alongside her husband’s.
Demetra said the decision was also important for her children, ensuring they maintain a visible connection to their Greek Cypriot heritage.
“I wanted them to be able to have that identity of their Cypriot roots,” she said.
Her story features in Insight’s episode What’s In A Name?, airing Tuesday 14 April, which examines how names shape identity, belonging and cultural connection across diverse communities.
The episode explores the personal and often complex decisions people make when it comes to changing – or keeping – their names, particularly within multicultural Australia.
