The mother-in-law (pethera) and daughter-in-law (nyfi) relationship is famously fraught in many Greek households. The stereotype of tension and competition has been the fodder of family dramas and comedies alike. But that tired trope has been completely rewritten in the Richmond home of Scarlett Athanasia Bauwens, Kostas Papageorgiou, and Niki Papageorgiou.
Scarlett, a dynamic Mauritius-born consultant who now splits her time between Melbourne and Athens, shares a relationship with her Greek mother-in-law, Niki, that many would envy — and few would believe. They laugh, cook, sometimes sleep in the same bed, and confide in one another with the closeness of true friends.
“I tell everyone — she’s better than a daughter,” says Niki, who was born in a picturesque village near Mystras in the Peloponnese. “I didn’t have a daughter, but I acquired one. And I’m so happy about that.”
Scarlett nods, smiling. “People don’t always understand how close we are. When I travel, I call her every day. She taught me how to make her recipes, and we just live in harmony. Nobody walks on eggshells. We just know how to be around each other.”
It’s a connection that blossomed naturally, but not without a bit of surprise.
“When Kostas told me he had found a girl and she wasn’t Greek, I was concerned,” Niki admits. “But the moment I met her — I knew. Her behaviour, her intelligence, everything about her was more than satisfactory. She was interesting. She became part of us.”
Scarlett met Kostas in Melbourne in 2016, and a whirlwind romance began before Scarlett left for Belgium. When she returned a month later, Kostas took her to Elafoniso, Greece, and suggested they stop by his village to “just say hi” to his parents. It was an instant connection.
“When Scarlett left, my parents kept asking when she’d be back,” Kostas recalls. “And when she returned for my birthday in September, it was clear. This wasn’t just a summer romance. It was something special.”
Perhaps most remarkable is how seamlessly Scarlett immersed herself in Greek culture—language, food, religion, philosophy, and all. Kostas, who never pressured her to learn Greek or be baptised, was stunned by her discipline.
“I remember watching her learn the language by writing the alphabet. She had a method. I didn’t help her. She taught herself. Bit by bit, she picked it up. And now — her spelling is better than mine!” he says.
From the moment Scarlett set foot in Greece, she was enchanted — not only by the country but by its cultural soul.
“It was the last week of my first trip, and I just thought, ‘I love this place,’” she recalls. “The freddo espresso, the yogurt with honey, the whole atmosphere — it felt like home.”
Everything fell into place when Scarlett first visited the village where Kostas, an engineer, had lovingly restored his ancestral home. “I observed her reactions, and she just wanted to understand what modifications I had made, even the trees and the lighting, and I thought — wow — she is really connecting with the place.”
Scarlett says, “In the village, there is soul. It’s like I had another life, and I’m just repeating that life now.”
The family spends part of the year in the village, where Scarlett works remotely with her team. “When in Melbourne, I wake up at 5am and finish work by lunch. Then I talk to Niki, we cook, we talk about everything — life, food, even philosophy. We talk like two women who genuinely respect each other. We are discreet, but also open. I want a relationship with my pethera. She gave birth to Kosta. That means something to me.”
Scarlett says her upbringing in Mauritius shaped her approach. “There, it’s normal to have a good relationship with your in-laws. But when I came to Australia, I noticed some Greek Australians held onto the stereotype of the bad pethera. That surprised me.”
For Niki, who still prefers the rhythm and organisation of life in Greece, the intergenerational bond has brought new joy. “We talk about tomorrow, about what we want to fix, what we want to do. I cook, I help, I advise, I even tell them off!”
Respect is a word that both Scarlett and Niki use frequently. “It’s mutual,” says Niki. “Even when Kostas raises his voice, I tell him, ‘Don’t speak like that.’ I’ll take Scarlett’s side, even when she’s wrong, because I know her intentions are never bad.”
And while Kostas jokes that being the son sometimes leads to “mother-son syndrome,” the beautiful pethera-nyfi relationship Scarlett and Niki share would not have been possible without him. He believes the foundation of their harmonious relationship lies in the strength of his and Scarlett’s bond. “If I had a bad relationship with Scarlett, how could I expect my mother to connect with her? Harmony starts with the couple.”
He adds that his mother has always been a “hard marker” when it came to his relationships until Scarlett. “My mum is smart enough to know that this works, and I can’t ask for anything better.”
Scarlett adds, “You can have a beautiful relationship with your mother-in-law. I’m proof of that.”
