After spending nine years battling infertility with IVF, adoption and then surrogacy in three different countries, the last thing you expect someone to do is write a book about it. But Despina Meris did exactly that. Her new book, Every Conceivable Way, documents her incredible journey to have Evander, her ‘miracle boy.’
Talking with The Greek Herald, Despina shares how five unexplained miscarriages made her even more determined to have a baby, and describes how writing about her experience was ‘cathartic and healing.’
The ‘unexpected road’ to having a baby:
Despina and her son Evander, who is now five. Source: Despina Meris.
Initially, Despina and her husband did not expect to have any difficulties falling pregnant. With no health issues and at a young age, they started trying for a baby naturally before turning to IVF, where they proceeded to have five unexplained miscarriages.
“They conducted every test under the sun, but no doctor could tell us why we kept having these devastating miscarriages,” Despina says.
“I had to do a lot of soul-searching during that time to try to make sense of what was happening, and whether I wanted it as badly as I thought.
“Clearly I did, because we went on to have very challenging surrogacy experiences in India and Ukraine before ultimately having our miracle child via surrogate in Thailand.”
However, despite all these setbacks, Despina says the birth of her son Evander, who is now 5, changed her life forever.
Despina holding her baby boy, Evander, in her hands for the first time. Source: Despina Meris.
Her life ‘changed forever’ when Evander was born via surrogate. Source: Despina Meris.
“The first time they put Evander into my arms… was the most surreal, magnificent, overpowering feeling. I really felt like I was having an out of body experience,” she explains.
“This was our very last attempt, and here was my child being presented to me and my life would be changed forever.”
The healing process of writing:
And boy, did it change. Whilst at first Despina didn’t want to relive her dark and challenging experience, speaking to friends and even strangers who were moved by her story pushed her to start writing Every Conceivable Way.
“Writing the book became this very cathartic, very healing experience. Just because we ended up with our beautiful baby didn’t erase the pain and hurt and confusion from those years,” she says.
“But this book was the greatest gift I could have given to myself because it started to heal my old wounds.”
The one downfall however, was the outbreak of the coronavirus pandemic at the same time as her book was due to be published on April 1, 2020.
Despina Meris’ new book Every Conceivable Way. Source: Despina Meris.
“My launch and all my public speaking engagements were canceled, and my book has been delivered to all the bookstores, but I’m not there to see it,” Despina says sadly.
“I was so shattered. It took four years of hard work and a real emotional investment to write the book. But life is all about perspective. There are far worse things happening in the world right now.”
Life in Perspective:
It is this positive attitude which has paid off somewhat in the end, with Despina explaining that book sales are still up because ‘people have more time to read and they’re looking for an inspirational story, something to lift them up.’
“But more importantly, at a time when everyone feels so disconnected, this book is connecting people. People who are struggling with infertility are reaching out to tell me how the story has inspired them and given them hope,” she says.
Despina Meris is now a published author of her book, Every Conceivable Way. Source: Despina Meris.
“And those who had no problem having children have shared with me how the book has moved them, that it opened their eyes to how some families struggle and persevere so much to have a child.”
With such an inspirational story, people can expect to see the book translated into Greek as well sometime soon.
Every Conceivable Way is available through all major bookstores and global online retailers. To order, click here:https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/5ENK3
Every day since the coronavirus pandemic was declared, a number of people have been risking their lives for the greater good. Doctors, nurses, paramedics, educators, customer-service officers, cleaners, truck drivers—the list goes on.
Despite
most of us having to stay at home, they continue doing their jobs. The
government calls them “essential workers.” We call them our community’s
superheroes.
How do they keep up and what motivates them to keep helping the community during these trying times?
Tom Parmakellis, Cosmetic & Family Physician, Sydney:
Q: How do you keep up and how do you cope with the current situation?
A: My business has changed dramatically in the last 2 weeks. I ceased all medical procedures in my medical practice, which resulted in an 80% drop in revenue. It was the right thing to do as it was too risky for our patients.
I
changed to Telehealth consultations and all patients are being consulted via
video conferencing or telephone for older patients who don’t have or use these
technologies.
I
have created a drive thru influenza immunisation clinic and have immunised 250
patients in 4 days. The demand has been overwhelming, as patients are
frightened and appreciate having their flu vaccine in the safety of their own
car.
We have rearranged our 4 staff members hours and duties to keep them all in a job despite the 80% drop in our revenue. I have applied for Job Keeper support for all our staff as we will need this to keep them all in a job and help them meet their financial obligations. I have a moral obligation to my patients and staff to keep my business alive.
We
have so far achieved this and are grateful to be able to continue helping our
community and are eternally grateful that we still have jobs, which many in
Australia and the world no longer have. In two words I have been “very busy”
making things work. We cope by practicing gratitude.
Q.What is your message to the wider community?
A: Be kind to one another. Help those who are less fortunate. Keep safe by following the social distancing advice and only go out if you really have to.
Only by following this advice will we reduce the number of Covid -19 cases and help save lives. One thing I can guarantee is that this will pass and I hope we may learn to appreciate life and be grateful for what we do have.
Effie Caramalis, Bank of Sydney Branch Operations Manager, Oakleigh Branch, Melbourne:
Q:How do you keep up and how do you cope with the current situation?
A: As these are unprecedented times one has to adapt their way of life according to the Government guidelines for our health, safety and for the benefit of the wider community. I am fortunate that my workplace was very quick in responding to the COVID 19 situation and implemented new procedures to ensure the safety and wellbeing of all our staff and our customers.
I am lucky to be part of a terrific team who support and take care of each other which keeps our spirits high and mental wellbeing healthy. I do not find it difficult to cope, as I myself, feel safe and protected in my workplace and at home.
Q: What is your message to the wider community?
A: To remember that we are all in this together, so be patient, kind and understanding with each other and please ensure that you are sleeping, eating well and exercising. Also do not stress unnecessarily and to take one day at a time, this will pass and we will all be better for it.
Bill Papas, Barber, Sydney:
Q: How do you keep up and how do you cope with the current situation?
A: For the last two weeks my shop, Bill’s Barber Shop in Willoughby, has been shut down due to the coronavirus. It was hard at first, but we did it to ensure our customers were safe. We pride ourselves in hygiene and cleanliness.
However,
a few weeks into our closure, I was inundated with calls from customers so we
decided to re-open. I was hesitant at first, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve
decided to stick to 30-minute appointments only. This gives me the time I need
to clean all the equipment and barber chairs before my next customer. We
restructured the business completely to accommodate our valued customers and so
far, it’s worked really well. I don’t regret re-opening despite all the
uncertainty.
Q:What is your message to the wider community?
A: I think it’s important to follow the protocols set by the government regarding hygiene procedures. We wear gloves and masks when cutting the hair of our customers and we would love the same respect from them. It just ensures that everyone is at ease and safe.
Penny Costa, Childcare worker, St Stephanos Child Care Centre, Hurlstone Park, Sydney:
Q: How do you keep up and how do you cope with the current situation?
A: I have surprised myself as I’m usually an anxious person. I feel I’m coping really well considering the circumstances and I try to work as I normally would.
I have always been aware of the importance of good hygiene practices especially in a child care setting. An old TAFE teacher told me once to always be aware of health and hygiene when you work in close contact with children and adults like they all have an infectious disease. This has stayed with me throughout my 35 year childcare career. I constantly wash my hands and wear gloves when needed. I try to be supportive to other staff and vice versa as we are all in this together. We need each other’s reassurance to stay positive and stable for the young children in our care as they are our number one priority.
We also have a special relationship with our parents as many have been coming to our centre for many years with their children. We had different responses from our parents so all we could do was support them in any difficult decision they had to make.
Health and safety is the centre’s main priority to protect the children and educators. Our Health and Hygiene policy was updated and a risk assessment was put in place. Staff have been proactive putting hygiene measures in place to minimise risks. Staff have constantly been sanitising and using natural cleaning products to disinfect toys, wipe down surfaces, door knobs, rails and cleaning bathrooms throughout the day. As staff enter the centre they wash their hands.
Parents and children have hand sanitiser on the sign-in table. Parents do not enter the children’s playroom due to social distance. Parents open the gate where the child enters and is greeted and have their forehead temperatures taken. Staff and children’s temperatures are also monitored throughout the day and unwell children and staff, with temperatures towards 38 degrees, get sent home. Activities such as sand pit and play dough are not available during this time due to cross contamination.
I am also always trying to keep the children happy as some are missing their friends. They have had to adjust to a room structure change as we have gone from three rooms to one room, with a family grouping of approximately 10 children per day with 4 staff. I have also introduced the coronavirus into our program by reading stories, learning new songs about hygiene, engaging children in fun craft and science experiments on germs. All this helps the children to understand a little about what is currently going on in our world and why their normal life and routine is changing for the time being. I also regularly engage the children in yoga and breathing meditation where they have the opportunity to release any negative feelings they may have.
I’m not enjoying the quietness of the centre as I’m used to the centre with more children and more staff. I miss the three staff that decided they wanted to be in their own home during the crisis due to their own health issues. I miss working closely with the pre-schoolers, getting them ready for big school. I miss the children’s laughter and cries and their loud screams of happiness while playing in the play ground. Most of all, I miss the fast pace and stress that I thrive on throughout the day.
Q:What is your message to the wider community?
A: It is important for us educators to stay connected to our children and families while maintaining our strong community feeling with other early childhood services. The lack of recognition saddens me and educators need to be valued and acknowledged in what we do as we constantly fight for recognition. At the moment during this crisis, telling someone they’re doing a good job is just not good enough. Maybe when the crisis is over the government needs to change and recognise how much educators are worth. Yes, we are educators not babysitters and we are important essential workers that keep the economy going.
I also want to add that I hope the community does the right thing, stays home and only goes out if it’s essential. Just have the importance of washing hands on your minds.
Fay Boufidou, Cleaning Business Operator, Melbourne:
Q: How do you keep up and how do you cope with the current situation?
A: We try to protect ourselves and our customers as much as we can. We take precautions like wearing masks, gloves, practicing social distancing and maintaining good hygiene. Our work has decreased a lot, as most people are staying at home and some of them are struggling financially, so they have to minimise their expenses. However, we still have to keep on serving people with disabilities, the elderly and clinics etc.
Of
course it’s hard and stressful to work in such difficult times, but we try to
continue providing our services to people who need our help.
Q: What is your message to the wider community?
A: Stay home and stay safe! Practice social distancing, good hand hygiene, limit your movements and stay home as much as possible. We are all a part of this and we need to adhere to the advice of the authorities to keep ourselves safe and healthy.
Greece’s Deputy Foreign Affairs Minister, Kostas Vlasis, has launched a free platform called ‘Sta Ellinika’ for Greeks abroad to learn about the Greek language, mythology and culture from home.
Having started our own #KeepItGreek campaign, The Greek Herald encourages all our readers to download the app to ensure our Greek language and culture is maintained during this uncertain time.
The platform consists of courses targeted at different age groups:
Kids aged 4+ (Greek for Preschool and Kindergarten).
Kids aged 6+ (Beginners Greek for ages 6-8).
Kids ages 9+ (Beginners Greek).
The courses cover topics ranging from basic Greek grammar and spelling, to Greek mythology and historical events such as Greek Independence Day.
They will also be updated throughout the summer and can be accessed from the computer, mobile phone or tablet.
Two precious icons that were allegedly stolen from church and monasteries in Epirus, western Greece, have been auctioned by a private gallery in Europe, local media reported on Monday.
According to epiruspost, the icons, which were stolen between the years 2000 and 2010, were put up for auction in surprisingly ‘well preserved’ conditions.
“The vast majority of the area’s unique treasures have ended up abroad and are gradually being sold,” the media outlet reported.
The first icon of Christ the Pantocrator is reportedly being auctioned with starting price at 10,000 euros, while the price for the second icon of Panagia Portaitissa is set for 12,000 euros.
Screenshot of the auction of the reportedly stolen icon. Source: epiruspost.
Citing reliable sources, epiuruspost writes that the icons come from the Monastery of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary in Makrino, Zagori, where a theft reportedly took place in November 2007.
“The official reaction of the Ministry of Culture and the Greek law enforcement authorities, who have been putting the icon circuit under the microscope for years, remains to be seen,” the outlet writes.
The intense scrutiny comes in the face of stolen icons being auctioned off in galleries in London and Germany only a few years ago.
An online public information campaign by Germany’s health ministry which depicts Greece as a child under Turkey’s care, prompted outrage on social media on Monday.
The campaign, which includes information in 16 different languages, features a graphic depicting Turkey as a mother holding a child, Greece, by the hand.
But the sight of the young Greek girl under the protection of “Mother Turkey” angered many social media users, as it was viewed as portraying Turkey as being more successful than Greece in dealing with the coronavirus pandemic.
“What the hell were you thinking of? How pathetically coarse and ignorant are you #germans,” wrote Twitter user @GreekCoffee2.
Greek tennis player Stefanos Tsitsipas has pulled the ultimate birthday prank on Australian tennis player Nick Kyrgios as he releases his phone number to his 863,000 followers on Instagram.
The Greek World No. 6 posted a photo on Instagram yesterday of himself holding a sign with the phrase “Call me”, followed by a phone number, presumed to be Stefanos Tsitsipas’.
In a comical turn of events, the phone number held up above the Greek star’s head was his close friend and competitor, Nick Kyrgios, who celebrated his 25th birthday on Tuesday.
“You are an absolute idiot 😂😂😂 everyone stop callling me!!!!!” Nick Kyrgios says in a comment on the Instagram post.
Later in the night, after receiving what can be assumed was hundreds of phone calls, Nick Kyrgios sent a message out to his fans on his Instagram story, requesting people please stop calling his phone number.
“I can’t even play music, I cant do anything, please stop calling my cell phone. Appreciate it,” Kyrgios said, ending with a peace sign to his followers.
Many tennis players wished the Greek-Australian tennis star a happy birthday, including Greek-Australian teammate and friend Thanasi Kokkinakis, along with Australian tennis colleague John Millman.
Photo: Getty Images
Yet, none of these earnest messages came close to Stefanos Tsitsipas’ heartfelt prank on Kyrgios, with this prank sure to go down as one of the best among tennis professionals in the past decade.
Unfortunately for Nick, it may be a long time before people stop calling him, possibly enough time for Kyrgios to exact revenge on his close Greek friend.
The Greek Welfare Centres of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese have undertaken counselling and food initiatives throughout Australia in order to decisively meet the financial and social needs of people during the coronavirus pandemic.
Counselling Services:
In NSW, the Greek Welfare Centre will be offering the following services:
Counselling and psychological support services to specifically tackle issues of anxiety and isolation.
Education / Practical steps for everyday life, regardless of whether or not people are staying at home.
These specific services are offered free of charge by a psychologist and other specially trained staff of the Centre, and are also available in Greek.
Those who are interested may phone the Centre’s Freecall number on 1800 776 642 from 9am to 5pm, Monday through to Friday.
Community Appeal:
At the same time, the Centre is also organising a Community Appeal with the aim of collecting canned and packaged food as well as financial donations, in order to help individuals and families that are in need.
Very Reverend Archimandrite Evmenios Vasilopoulos will direct the new relief program in Victoria. Source: The Transfiguration of Our Lord.
If you are interested in contributing to the program you can:
Phone 0477 375 359 in order to organise for a volunteer of the Centre to collect your contributions from outside your home.
Phone 0477 375 359 or (02) 9516 2188 if you prefer to leave your contributions at the Greek Welfare Centre (378a King St, Newtown) or at the Brighton Sessional Office (The Millennium Centre, 100 The Grand Pde, Brighton-Le-Sands).
Those who are in need and would like to receive food items are requested to phone the Greek Welfare Centre on 9516 2188 from 8:30am to 5pm, Monday through to Friday.
Other states and territories:
Similar programs for
the support of people affected by the coronavirus pandemic are also being
organised by the other Welfare Centres of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of
Australia.
Those interested may
directly contact the relevant Welfare Centre at the details listed below:
In a statement released today, the Greek Orthodox Community of South Australia expressed its ‘deepest condolences’ on the death of Detective Chief Superintendent Joanne Shanahan (nee Panayiotou).
“Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of Shanahan and Panagiotou who are immersed in mourning for the loss of Joanne. We mourn with the two families, friends and the entire Police Force of South Australia,” the statement said on behalf of the GOCSA’s President, Vassilios Gonis, and the Board of Directors.
In 2019, Chief-Supt Shanahan was a guest speaker at the Community’s International Women’s Day event, where she described going to work every day as ‘a pleasure.’
Adelaide’s Greek community are mourning the death of Detective Chief Superintendent Joanne Shanahan. Source: SA Police.
“I have been in the South Australian Police Force for 38 years and they are just as enthusiastic as when I first started. Going to work is a daily pleasure. I was the first Police Director to have children and I am still the only mother on the Board,” she said at the event.
“I have to admit that I have managed to do what I wanted in my personal life and work thanks to my family and friends, two very important things.
“My mother, my father and my husband were the ones who looked after the children when I had to be at work, my friends were the ones who cheered me on when I failed at something and they are the same people I share beautiful moments with. That’s why I thank them.”
The GOCSA said these comments by Chief-Supt Shanahan were the perfect way to describe her.
Joanne Shanahan (left) with her husband Peter Shanahan (right), who survived the collision.
“A proud mother, devoted wife, beloved daughter and loyal friend. Her parents, devoted members of the Community, Mr. and Mrs. Panagiotou, always proud of Joanne, could never believe that such a untold tragedy would unfold before their eyes,” the statement stressed.
“Fortunately, Joanne’s husband was not seriously injured in the accident and is no longer being treated at the hospital. He is now close to their two adult children.”
The Community concluded by extending their condolences to the family and friends of Tania McNeill, who also lost her life in the same tragic incident.
In a statement released today, the Greek Community of Melbourne denounced racist attacks on Asian-Australians during the coronavirus crisis, calling them ‘abhorrent.’
“To think that the collective frustration that we all feel during these extraordinary times is manifested in vile, racist attacks on anyone is to be condemned,” the statement reads.
“COVID-19 may have its origins in China but for this to justify attacks on our Asian brethren is abhorrent.”
The statement then says that the Community, founded in 1897, thrives in a contemporary multicultural Australia that celebrates its cosmopolitanism and identity.
“Any attacks based on race are an anathema to this very idea and to the much championed ‘Aussie Spirit’ that is called on at such times,” the Community stressed.
If you would like to condemn the racist attacks against Asian-Australians, you can sign a petition here: https://bit.ly/2xattSs
Former Socceroos coach, Ange Postecoglou, has said the coronavirus crisis is the perfect time to ‘reset’ the A-League and put football first when the season resumes.
In an interview with ABC‘s Offsiders, Postecoglou spoke about the troubles facing the A-League and its potential to lose momentum in the Australian sporting landscape.
“My beef about sport has always been, when I’ve sat in boardrooms with the most impressive businessmen going around, never forget what your prime product is. And your product is the sport,” Postecoglou told the program.
Former Socceroos coach, Ange Postecoglou, has always been passionate about football. Source: Mark Dadswell / WSG.
“So if you devalue the sport, you can save as much money as you want, eventually that devaluation is going to cost you.
“Football, irrespective of where it’s at, it wasn’t going great guns before this. Great chance now to reset the sport with football as its main core.”
Postecoglou is wary, however, of those saying player wages have to be cut post-crisis, arguing only a quality on-field product will deliver the rejuvenation Australian football needs.
The A-League is facing an uncertain future after the competition was postponed last month. Source: ABC.
“Hearing administrators talking about cutting costs, inevitably they go to the sport first, has never made sense to me. It is the sports that come out of this understanding that will be the ones to prosper the most,” he stressed.
The A-League is facing an uncertain future with at least seven of the 11 clubs standing down players and staff following the decision to postpone the competition last month.
There’s also concern broadcaster Fox Sports is attempting to walk out on its $57 million a year deal with the FFA, in a move which would remove a vital revenue stream for clubs.
