I came across a book of short stories in English by author Konstantina Sozou-Kyrkou, called Black Greek Coffee, whose cover includes the subtitle “Want to see the darker side of Greek life?”
“Perfect,” I thought, for this writing of my ‘A Darker Side of Greece: Part II’ article. See Part 1 here.
Upon finishing the book’s 23 moving and relatable short stories, I decided to refer to a few that resonated with me in the sense that they reflect some growing ‘trends’ universally perhaps, but to me, in my long-lived experience in Greece, reveal a “darker side” of life in Greece today.
One of the book’s short stories, “The Stubborn Beaker,” has as its heartbreaking theme an elderly person in a nursing home (I won’t give spoilers). This practice of immediate family not being able to look after elderly parents in Greece is increasing, and apart from employing mainly foreign workers in-house to look after them, nursing or care homes for the aged are on the rise.
An aunt of mine with mild dementia ended up in nursing homes in Athens. Her son worked abroad, while his wife in Athens had a job and their young child, as well as her own mother, to look after.
At first, my aunt was in a decent, though expensive, establishment whose location was on a very busy road, where even its small rear courtyard gave off whiffs of traffic odours and noise.
Upon visiting my aunt there once, I noticed that her hair had greyed immensely and was unkempt, whereas in the past she’d go to the hairdresser’s every week to maintain her stylish coiffure. Even aged 75 she had naturally dark brown, almost black, hair of which she was very proud.
I asked my aunt if she’d like her hair dyed and styled, and then spoke to the nursing home manager. After all, the nursing home’s fancy brochure claimed a hairdresser was employed there regularly. I stressed that her hair colour was to be the way she wanted it, as it was when she had been first admitted: in her natural dark brown-black.
It took a few more visits for me to mention this again, while also noticing my aunt’s dementia worsening. The staff reassured me “the doctor was aware and looking into it.”
When I went back to visit her, her hair was still unkempt, but a bright burgundy colour! It really didn’t look like a hairdresser’s work. Her dementia had further worsened. I wonder what really went on there most hours, as they did seem understaffed.
In her next nursing home – which was cheaper – my aunt was bedridden with bedsores and potentially heavily medicated. I made a fuss and threats. They had no wheelchair to take her around since she was weak and could no longer walk, so I bought her one. They were also understaffed and though I visited and called and complained almost daily, things weren’t changing. I never managed to see her in the wheelchair. She died not long after.
The next short story I chose, titled “It’s a Girl,” refers to a father being very upset that the second child is born female (he already has a daughter). He ignores the child and is grumpy, to say the least, towards his wife, which leads to him unofficially ‘adopting’ a neighbour’s teenage son as the son he never had, feeling that at last he can bring up a male according to his macho belief system.
The boy disappoints him after being put in a difficult situation to prove his masculinity through hunting (a bit of a spoiler).
For me, this story brings to mind online “influencers” such as Andrew Tate, whom many young men have grown up following. Tate espouses that “a man’s true obligations are protection and provision.”
Strange sorts of social media blabberings from people such as Tate cause expectations for young men, creating confusion and much psychological pressure and pain. Not encouraged to express their feelings, in case they seem ‘weak,’ young men often resort to ‘gang’ violence amongst themselves – a relatively new and unfortunately common phenomenon now in Greece.
Furthermore, many young men in Greece don’t want to marry because they feel a threat and subsequent disadvantage in that if a woman leaves them “she has more rights and gets everything – kids, house and money.” Along similar lines, wages here in Greece are generally low, as is the birth rate, and thus young men feel disempowered and bitter, unable to afford their own home let alone start a family.
Issues of misogyny can also become manifest in scenarios of negative social media messaging (see incel culture too) for young men, combined with being in an insecure economic environment which leaves little hope for future betterment. This affects young women too, who are aware that pornographic-type sites are often marketed as money-making, empowering prototypes.
All this, in the context of busy parents working and trying to make ends meet, sees constant mobile phone access becoming the cultural purveyor of ‘life’ for youth. Fortunately, the Greek way of life includes strong community ties and not just in a nuclear family setting.
The important roles of extended family relationships too cannot be underestimated. Furthermore, recognising and advocating for responsible roles of government, teachers, the Church, and of our Greek community as a whole are also fundamental. Such ethical guidance in wisdom, self-respect and kindness offers a counterbalance to forces of exploitation and darkness, by instilling hope that all is not lost.
